Losing Friendship

It is often thought by one of the friends that ‘the other may not like to be disturbed’ and so we don’t call, or sms.

Even after a few sms, when the other does not respond or receive the call, we think ‘the other doesn’t like to be disturbed’ and we to stop call and sms.

Often we are too busy that we don’t respond well to the call of our friends and they understand it as ‘you don’t like to be disturbed by them’ and they stop calling and messaging.

One day we find that we badly need the help of the other person and call or sms, we find “they don’t like to be disturbed” as well. Remember it is not their fault because you gave the message to them that “you don’t like to be disturbed by stupid friends like them”.

Friendship is not an ATM to look for only if we need help but it is vegetable field where we nourish the plants throughout the year and take the fruits as and when they produce.

If we only go to collect the fruits, we will know that even the plant is not found there.

Have a life for yourself

We often have a life with a busy schedule. We are almost always occupied.

I challenge you to review your day. Take each word you spoke and every action of yours and see what or whom those actions and words stand for. May be for your boss or institution you work for, or your friend, or your colleague, or your customer, etc.

Out of the many words you spoke how many of them were about you which make you a better person or feel your worth, or something which make you feel worth living and working. How many actions made you proud of yourself? What you did directly for your benefit or that of those loving ones of your family?

We always say 'think of others'. 'Think of them in their shoes'. But my question is...

If we don't think for ourselves who will?

If we don't speak for ourselves who will?

If we don't act for ourselves who will?

God said, "love thy neighbour as thyself". We need to love ourselves first in order to love others. We need to feed our stomach to get energy to feed others. We need to feel good about ourselves to feel good about others.

So stop now and say to yourself " I love you not for 'what you are' but for 'who you are' ". Buy yourself a chocolate. Close your eyes and feel the taste. Don't see or hear or think anything else but just savour the taste of the chocolate your mouth.

Love Thyself.

IF ONLY HE HAD….

“If only he had…” his mother sobbed.
Yes! This is a phrase we often use to shift the responsibility of our actions. But now it was more than that. It was not merely shifting the responsibility, but rather a cry of grief. He was the only boy, who bore all the hopes of his family. He was good; extremely talented, energetic and a pillar of hope and optimism. He came first in anything he ventured into. Many could not understand his ideology. Some criticized him. A few appreciated him. But none could really understand what and who he was. It is a fate of life that some are not understood as they deserve and some are more understood than what they deserve. Life is not always fair, so be it.
He was an idol for many to worship. Many wished if they could be him. He was second to none in whatever he ventured into. At college, he was involved in almost all the clubs. He was the best player in his hockey and football teams. He was a sprinter who left his fellow competitors meters behind him. He bagged first in state level javelin and discus throw…. Well, we will need a lot more time to talk about his abilities.
The tragedy happened when he decided to buy a motorcycle. He used to go for part-time jobs even during his school days and so he had money from which he also funded his education as he hailed from a poor family. He bought his first bike with his savings. He was thrilled, though it was a used one. He tried to prove his expertise on it. He never wore a helmet because he never thought he can ever get into an accident. He was coming home after his part-time job. He hit the vehicle in front and was thrown away. His head hit the ground first and he succumbed to his head injuries. ‘If only he had worn his helmet he would be alive now.’
A family lost its future. He was the only son and they looked upon him for their life. But he failed them by not wearing a helmet. We all go through different walks of life. We come across different situations in life ‘if only we give primary importance for our safety and that of others around us’, life can be longer, happier, and fuller.
Life is like jigsaw puzzle and we are all pieces in it. If we destroy ourselves by being careless, we lose our life and that of those around us. Do you love your family and your loved ones?
Then BE SAFE and ACT SAFE.

Life

“Are you ready?” came a loud cry from the room.
“Yes”, replied I.
This was not my first time; still I am a bit nervous.
“Let’s go then.” Anto patted on my shoulder. I got up and went with him. We took the city bus and got down at the General Hospital. He guided me to the room. It was a room with three beds. Near each bed there were equipments to draw blood. A young lady came and smiled at me.
“Please lie down there.”
I chose the middle bed. As lied down, she came near me with a plastic bag to collect my blood. My vein was pocked and blood started to flow out of my body to the plastic bag through the pipe which connected me and the bag. She placed the bag on an equipment which started to rock. My blood started to fill the bag. After a few minutes, the bag was full of my life liquid. I got up and suddenly felt a little dizy.
“Don’t get up now. Rest a while.” She suggested.
“I am alright.” I replied.
Once I was out of the room, I could see a man with a tender coconut. He offered it to me, “Please drink it.” I took a sip from it. “It is for his daughter.” Anto introduced him to me. I smiled at him and drank the coconut water.
“She is in the ward.” The man said and showed the way. I was not interested to visit, but I followed. In the ward, I saw a 9-year-old girl who is very tired and weary. She smiled at me. “So she is the one who will receive my blood.” I thought to myself. There was something angelic about the girl. She was from a poor family but that did not determine who she is. She brightened wherever she was. The innocent smile had many things to tell. I could feel my heart filled with something I cannot express. It was later I understood that it was the blessing of God for helping his angel to preserve a valuable life.
I have given many things to many people in my life. But that was the day my giving gave me more than I gave.

Failure

What is "failure"?

Is it a word?

An idea?

A concept?

No. It is an attitude - an attitude towards anything. Every single incident which happens in our life turns into a success or failure depending on our attitude towards it. Abraham Lincoln failed 'n' number of times in his life. But his attitude converted all of them to experiences and his greatest success followed them. There are many of us who turn even success into failure with the attitude we have. We step away even after a small error. We never try anything else. Therefore, history loses them. Do you want to make history?

If 'Yes',

DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAILURE.

Purpose in Life.

I was in the midst of a confusion. Why to live? Where to live? and How to live?

These are a few of the questions we all ask at some time in life.

Some call it purpose in life. Some call it Destiny. But I like to call it "The Reason To Live". I needed a reason to live. I was finding it difficult to live, because I did not know why I should be alive. Then I found out that people around me need me. They love me. There are things only I can do and for that I have to live.

This is called the so called enlightenment which has happened to many a great people.

Living is not breathing. Living is being alive in the heart of those who are around us.

If so how many of us are alive today?

Dependency

We always depend on something or someone for anything or everything. It may be God, parents, wife, money, hope, faith in something or something of the sort.

Can we really be self-sufficient?

Can anybody ever live self-sufficiently?

Marriage

പരിണയം
******************
എൻ പാതി പകുത്തൊരു പതിവ്രതയെ നിന്നെ
പ്രാണനെന്നല്ലാതെന്തു വിളിപ്പു ഞാൻ
പരിണയമെത്രയപാരമെന്നാദ്യമായ്
യെന്നിലെയെന്നോട് ചൊല്ലി ഞാനാദ്യമായ്
"നീയുണ്ണായ്കിലു മൂട്ടണമിവളെ
നീയുടുക്കായ്കിലുമുടുപ്പിക്കണമിവളെ "
ഊട്ടിയതുമുടുപ്പിച്ച്തും നീയല്ലെ പ്രിയേ -
യെന്റെയുറവ വറ്റിയ ജീവിതത്തെ
നിൻ മധുരമൊഴിയാലെന്നിലിത്തിരി
നന്മയുടെ വിത്തുകളിട്ടതിനെ
നിൻ താങ്ങാൽ, തണലാൽ തലോടലാൽ
ജലവും വളവുമേകി വളർത്തിയിന്നതീ
ഞാനായി മാറിയെൻ
പുതുജീവിതത്തിൻ നാമ്പു നീട്ടി
പേടിയില്ലോട്ടുമിനി നീയെന്റെ -
യരികിലെന്നാലീ ജീവിതം ജീവിച്ചു തീർക്കാനായ്

Is Life Fair?!

Life is Beautiful.
This is a sentence we tell ourselves when we are happy, motivated, energetic and enthusiastic. But is Life beautiful only when we feel good or all the times?
I feel life is like a three-dimension object. We can see only that face of the Life which is turned towards us. That does not mean it has only one face.
Life is just neutral. It is we who interpret it to be positive or negative, good or bad, beautiful or ugly, etc.
Therefore it is our line of thought that is important.
Have no judgement.
Take life as it comes.
Try to understand the neutral aspect of every event that happens.

Life will be fine.

The Parent in You

Children are the best investment one can have. But to make it worth investing, we need to invest the best and the most valuable thing we have i.e. TIME.

It is better to present your child a toy car for Rs.100/- and join him to play with it than gifting him a BMW and never bother even to see what he does with it.

Time is life. Giving your children your time means giving them your life and be sure you will get it back in hundred folds.

If your child is not able to play with you, not able to make mistakes, not allowed to experiment with his life, not able to learn new things-which you may feel unnecessary, not able to shout at you, not able to get an apology from you when you go wrong, never expect them back either now or in future.

Your child is a not you he/she has a different destiny. Support him/her to choose it and live his/her life. They will make mistakes-as they should. But appreciate their calibre to try new things. Guide them and be a mender for them. Never a policeman.

When your child knows even if he/she makes a mistake, you will be by his/her side, be sure they will ever be your side even after you are gone from this world.

I can’t be you, you can’t be me and we can’t be them. Understand it and accept them. Then you will experience that Heaven is Here and Now.

Thread of Love

“You have changed a lot. You don’t show me the kind of love you had earlier” was her complaint recently. “Yes I don’t show you. But that doesn't mean I don’t love you.” I said to myself. I know, I am not showing her any affection recently. I am at war-a war waged inside me - a war between me and me.

We had a lovely life in the beginning. We started our life in a small house which had only one room. I love her more than anything and I did tell her that and showed it all the way possible. Money was a problem, but she was very understanding as is now. She never complained about anything, except not being with her. We spent hours together which in turn built our life in a strong foundation.

As soon as my work was over, I would be hurrying home. I could never buy anything for her though I wanted to. Love cannot buy everything, need money for that. But she never complained. To increase our joy our first baby came in. I was worried, very much worried though I did not show it. But I knew she knows everything. Our hearts had become one. So it was neither possible to cover up my heart from her nor hers from me. We had a strong thread of love uniting us.

We had quarrels. Though not very often, we would get angry and shout at each other. Even when we were at the highest point of anger we never used words to intentionally hurt the other. Because I knew I am not hurting her but myself, so did her. Every night we would talk, say sorry to each other if we quarreled and would hug and kiss each other before sleep.

My financial crisis shook my mind and I was most of the time worried calculating and thinking over and over. It took most space of my mind and I forgot to spent time with her sometimes even to talk to her. It was worrying me how to take care of the family with the little income I get as a driver. I always wanted to buy a car for myself, but never did.

I felt a warm hand on my forehead and I opened my eyes. “I am sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. I was angry with the children and I just poured it out on you. I didn't think it would hurt you this much. I am sorry. I am so sorry.” I looked at her and asked, “Do you know that I love you more than anything in this world?” She hugged me tightly and said, “I know I am the person whom you love most. But I would like to hear it often.” Our tears became one like our hearts. Our son came and hugged us both and there we went back to the small one-room-house in the beginning.

Love is not love if it is not expressed.

The thing called SELFISHNESS.

Do I work because I am so committed to my employer that I would do anything and everything for the betterment of my employer?
Has my employer hired me because he wants to help me earn my living and be happy or he wants more profit?

Do I take care of my children because they want me or I want them?

Do I do charity works or donate for the needy because they need me?

Do I live in this world because the world needs me?

Do I pray to God because He needs my prayers?

Do I buy my grocery because the grocery shop owner has no other means of income?

Selfishness is a word we often use to speak about those type of people who care nothing for others and look for their own benefits. But is there anybody who is not selfish at all? I personally doubt it. When I work, I work because I get the remuneration for it. When I do something for charity, I do it so that I get the praise from others about my generosity. If I do it secretly - as some of us might be doing, I get a satisfaction myself that I have done something for the needy and the gratitude and praise I have for myself cannot be expressed in words. I feel worthy of living. I feel proud that I understand my society. I feel I am able to see the needy and humane to help them.

I have children. I do everything to make sure they get the best. I feed them, cloth them, educate them etc. etc. Is it because they need me or I need them to love me, hug me, kiss me, call me dad and appreciate my sacrifices for them? I feel this is a mutual selfishness. I need them and so do they. I love them and so do they.

Every person do what they do because there is something which comes back to them. If not nobody would waste their time, energy, and money etc. for anything or anybody.

A Rainy Night In The Forest. Part-7

The best quality of a human being is that he will do anything and everything if he wants to ...

Then things moved fast. A few more joined us. Two drivers took a bundle of rope each, but they were too thin to use. One of us said he had seen a bundle of thick new plastic rope in a pickup behind the line. We went and asked him for it. The one who had noticed it did not know the pickup driver’s language and so I asked him for it. Though he was reluctant at first, we convinced him and bought it for the price he demanded. Two choppers were brought and started cutting the branches down. In about 30 minutes the tree was cut into two pieces. We tied the rope to each piece and pulled it to each side of the road with the help of a truck. As the tree was moved aside, I was the one to cross it first and go ahead. I was on a motorcycle at the front.  It was already 10 O’clock when I reached my office. As I explained the situation I was in I was spared form Loss of Payment.

We are all cooperative, sympathetic, innovative, motivating, etc human beings. But the pace, at which we move, is blinding us from all these beauties of life. Like a traveller in a fast train, we miss the beautiful flowers we pass through and look at the rocky hills at the distance. If we can take the stairs instead of lift, take a walk instead of our car, count the stars instead of our salary/profit, smile at a child instead of shouting at the subordinates, share food with a hungry instead of stuffing the fast food, we really LIVE OUR LIFE.

LIFE is ONLY ONCE.
It is to LIVE, not to watch it slipping away in the busy schedules we have created for ourselves.

HAPPY LIFE.

END.

A Rainy Night In The Forest. Part-6

“What do you want?” was a milder question than I expected.

“There is a tree fallen across the road in the middle of the forest.”

“Where exactly is it?” He asked again.

“It is near to the Hanuman Temple.”

“Where has the tree fallen from? Top or bottom? “

“It has fallen across the road.” I did not understand how the direction of the fall matters, but still I said, “It has fallen from bottom to top.”

“Then you have to inform the other office. It is their jurisdiction.” And he went in.

I felt foolish to trust the government offices. I turned and walked back to the tea shop.

“What did they tell?” They were curious. “They told to inform the other office.” Is what I said to them. “Can you inform them?” I asked the Maruthi vala.

“Yes I will.” He readily accepted. I walked to my motorcycle and started back to the scene at the middle of the forest.

They had started cutting down the tree when I reached them.

“Did you inform them? What did they tell you? Are they coming?” All were hopeful that help will be coming soon. Because they forgot they are in India.

“I don’t think they will be coming. They are blaming the responsibility on each other.”

“Oh God!” Exclaimed one. “Let us see what we can do.” came the voice of an optimist from the crowd.

(to be continued.)

A Rainy Night In The Forest. Part-5

There were only two customers in the tea shop. Both of them had just arrived in a Maruthi car. I entered the shop after them.

“A hot hot tea.” I yelled at the shop owner who was trying to make something in the kitchen. I doubted if he heard me but opted to wait as the other two also seemed waiting.

“The road is blocked in the middle of the forest.” I informed my co-customers.

“Is it? Where exactly?”

“In the middle of the forest. Whom should we inform?” I asked.

“You need to inform the forest office right over there.” Showed the shop owner as he was coming with the tea.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

I drank the tea in a sip and felt better. It felt the tea was a bit cold due to the shiver and cold I was going through.

I paid him and walked towards the forest office. I could not see anybody at the front. It looked more like a residence than an office.

“Is anybody there?” I shouted. No response. But I could see somebody through the window. He was mixing something, probably preparing his breakfast.

“Is anybody there?” I yelled even louder.

“Yes” came a reply from inside and out came a young man in dhothi.

(to be continued.)

A Rainy Night In The Forest. Part-4

“There is a lot of fog on the way. Still I shall try.” Said I.

I had no choice. If I didn’t reach my office before 10 o’clock, I would lose a day’s salary. I turned my bike around and started back to inform the check post. I could not go far. I had to turn back as the fog was too much that I could not see the road.

The Innova vala asked seeing me back, “Did you inform them?”

“No. I could not go. I have no fog light on my bike.” I showed my irritation.

Another half-an-hour passed. Now many have come out and started passing comments on what to do next.

‘It is better I try going once more. I can have a cup of hot tea too, which will warm me up.’ I thought. I turned my bike around for a second time and headed towards the check post.

The Sun was up and the fog had subsided. On the way I saw some vehicles hurrying past me. “Go, go. Go fast and wait there.” I told them in my mind.

There is a tea shop before the check post. I had started to shiver. "Better have the tea first." I thought and entered the tea shop.

A Rainy Night In The Forest. Part-3

As it was getting colder due to the increasing rain, I thought I need to have a shelter from the rain. I slowly approached the pickup van and asked the driver.

“Shall I sit here for a while? It has started to rain heavily.”

“I am sorry. The seat will get wet.” Answered the driver.

“I will sit only at this corner.”

I tried to persuade him. But he nodded a “NO”.

I just smiled and moved to the jeep behind. There were a few people inside so I thought better not to ask. Then next was a truck. I knocked the door. No response. I knocked louder. The response was the same. Then I banged at the door and understood ‘it is easy to wake a sleeping man up than the one who pretends sleeping.’

I smiled and moved on and thought of the basic human nature – selfishness. We speak a lot about selflessness. But most often, when it comes to us, all of us are selfish, one way or the other. Sometimes we help a poor. But if we look inside, we can see that it is for others to see that we are helping in nature or to be blessed by God for the good deed we do. We love others so that others love us or not to be hated by them.

Slowly, the Sun was showing his face and so were the people in different vehicles on both the sides of the block. I asked a person who has just showed up.

“Has anyone informed the check post?”

“The people at the other side might have.” He answered.

Another typical nature of humans - ‘I have no time for that. Let him do it.’

I climbed over the tree and jumped to the other side and enquired.

The answer was, “I have not. They might have.”

I crossed back to my side and said to those who were standing there. “Nobody has informed at the check post.”

One gentleman took his apple phone out and lifted up for signal and said, “There is no coverage here or else I would have called up and informed.” Obviously, there is no chance we can get coverage for any network in the middle of the forest.

Another person who came in an Innova said to himself so innocently, “If somebody who has a motorcycle could go and inform them...” Poor fellow. It’s a bad luck that Innova has no reverse gear!

(to be continued.)

Happy Independence Day.

A Rainy Night In The Forest. Part-2

As it was only 4 O’clock in the morning, there was nobody on the road. I was finding it difficult as the drizzle was blocking my vision. I have to cross a forest on my way. It is at the boarder of Kerala and Karnataka. It measures around 40 km through the thick forest with many hairpin curves. As I entered the forest, it started to rain heavily. I drove slowly through the rain s I had no choice.

Two cars over took me splashing the rain water on me. I started feeling cold. After a few kilometers, the rain stopped. But I could not speed up. The mist was blocking the way. I could hardly see a few meters. I drove dead slow and continued. When I reached the middle of the forest, I saw a line of vehicles. I just overtook them and went ahead. I could not go far. The road was blocked by a big tree which fell across the road. I couldn’t even see the other side, partially due to the thickness of the leaves of the fallen tree and partially the darkness. The first vehicle on the line was a pick-up van.

I asked the driver, “When did you reach here?”

“Around 5 O’clock”, he answered.

I looked at my watch. It showed 5.30 in the morning. The rain started again.

(to be continued.)

A Rainy Night In The Forest Part-1

It was a rainy night. Was it a coincidence that I decided to return on that night? Might not be. It was a night on a rainy season. No wonder, the days and nights are rainy.

I found it hard to open my eyes as I am used to getting up late in the morning. I got ready and had a cup of black tea. I usually don’t have black tea or coffee. But it is necessary now as it is a rainy night. I need it to keep my body warm.

I got my vehicle out of the garage. You are mistaken. It is not a BMW or a Benz. It is a Bajaj Platina, an eight-year-old motorcycle. My first and the only vehicle I ever had.

As I had filled enough petrol the previous day, I started it confidently and waved good bye to my sweetheart. Kids were asleep and will know that I am gone only in the morning. It was drizzling. I had my rain coat on. I slowly moved into a memorable night.

 (to be continued...)